


Bringing Him Home

by csichick_2



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Everyone Needs A Hug, Multi, Natasha Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-08
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-06-06 16:49:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6762166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/csichick_2/pseuds/csichick_2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When intel on Bucky's location falls into Natasha's lap, she takes it straight to Steve.  She ends up getting more involved than she ever expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [flipflop_diva](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flipflop_diva/gifts).



> Only canon-compliant through Winter Solider. No Civil War spoilers here.

Natasha hadn’t intended to return to Washington that quickly – she wasn’t lying when she said that she was counting on it taking awhile to find a new cover. But then a lead on the Winter Soldier – on Bucky – fell into her lap and she knew where she needed to go. Natasha may be the one that can most closely relate to what the Winter Soldier has done, but Steve is the only one that can get through to whatever is left of the Bucky that fell from that train almost seventy years ago.

She isn’t surprised to find that Steve has moved since she’s last seen him. Not only was Fury shot in that apartment, the bugs were also a major violation of privacy. She just hopes that Sam both lives in the same place and knows where Steve relocated to. She’s more than capable of figuring it out on her own, but that takes time. And that might be more time than they have before the intel on Bucky goes cold.

No one is home when she gets to Sam’s, but a quick glance around when she picks the lock on the back door tells her that he still lives there. And the Vibranium shield in the living room tells her that he no longer lives alone. She doesn’t know why it bothers her that Steve is seemingly living with Sam – she knows the house has two bedrooms and it takes all her willpower to not snoop around and see if both are being slept in. Instead she simply steals the orange juice from the fridge and waits for Sam and Steve to return – presumably from a run given the early hour.

She’s only waiting for about five minutes when they return and she smirks at their matching looks of surprise. “Miss me, fellas?” she asks.

“How did you… never mind I don’t want to know how you broke into my home. Just make sure no one else can get in the same way,” Sam says. “And did you really have to drink the damn orange juice.”

“Yes. And looks like it’s not just your home anymore,” she replies, nodding towards Steve’s shield in the other room.

“Well I wasn’t about to stay in an apartment that was nearly a murder scene,” Steve says blushing slightly. “And crashing with Sam is easier than trying to find a new place.”

“Well it’s just as well that I found you both in the same place,” she says, pushing aside this weird feeling of displeasure that Steve is living with someone. “Some intel on Barnes fell into my lap.”

“Is he…” Steve begins. Though he doesn’t finish the question, Natasha knows exactly what he’s asking.

“As of two days ago, he’s been successfully evading what’s left of Hydra,” she answers. “Not sure what the state of his memory is though. I can’t guarantee he hasn’t gone elsewhere since, but my source spotted him in Austria.”

The way all the color seems to flee from Steve’s face tells her everything she needs to know. “That’s where he fell, isn’t it?”

Steve nods, holding onto the table before sitting down. “I really hope that’s not the first memory that came back to him.”

“I can pretty much guarantee it’s not,” Sam replies. “Someone dragged your heavy ass out of the damn Potomac that day and it had to have been him. Anyone else that would have been close enough was too dead.”

“Not helping Sam,” Steve complains, though Natasha can tell that he’s not mad. “Please tell me that we can use aboveboard means to get there. I don’t want to involve Tony for obvious reasons. I don’t think ‘he didn’t mean to kill your parents because he was brainwashed’ is going to go over too well right now.”

“We don’t know for sure that it was him, Steve,” Sam says with a sigh that tells Natasha this isn’t the first time they’ve had that argument.

“Oh yes, Hydra had the Winter Soldier carry out all their assassinations except that one,” Steve says sarcastically. “Fuck, it’s going to kill Buck to find that out. Howard was our friend.”

“Hopefully we can get to him before that particular memory comes back,” Natasha says softly. “It might go over better to hear it from you than to have it come back violently.”

“I don’t know if I can,” Steve says shakily.

“It’s better st know and try to make peace it with than to wonder how many more kills there are out there that you don’t remember,” Natasha says, keeping emotion out of her words. “Take the word of someone that’s been there.”

“First we bring Bucky home,” Sam replies. “Then we figure out the rest of it.”

“And yes, I am able to get through airport security without getting arrested,” Natasha adds. “But I also know where the quinjets are. It will get us there faster, and you’ll be able to bring your shield.”

“Wouldn’t those have all been destroyed?” Sam asks.

“Only most of them. SHIELD didn’t keep all their toys at the Triskellion,” Natasha says with a smirk. “How soon can you be ready to leave for New York?”

Sam shakes his head. “If we get arrested, I am throwing you under the bus, woman.”

“I would expect nothing less,” she says, a genuine smile crossing her face instead of her usual smirk.

“I like him,” Natasha says to Steve when Sam excuses himself to shower, muttering something about how at least he’ll be clean when he goes to prison.

“Don’t play games, Nat,” Steve says tiredly. “If you want to know what bedroom I’m sleeping in, just ask.”

Natasha widens her eyes in surprise that Steve knew what she was trying to get at. Either she’s slipping or he knows her better than she realizes. “So what bedroom are you sleeping in?” she asks, trying to sound bored by the conversation, though she’s not sure if it works.

“Having Sam nearby helps with the nightmares,” Steve says, indirectly answering the question. “I still have them, but they’re not as bad.”

“Just as long as he doesn’t give me a reason to have to kill him,” Natasha says, slightly uncomfortable by Steve’s show of vulnerability. It took her a long time to realize that wasn’t a weakness, though she’s still not comfortable letting anyone else see her that way.

“And now I’m afraid to leave you alone with him to take a shower,” Steve says, his usual self starting to return.

“I can handle being threatened,” Sam says, walking back to the kitchen. “Go shower so we can get this show on the road.”

“Please tell me you’re going to stick around and help with Bucky,” Sam says when he hears the shower turn on. “I may work with soldiers suffering from PTSD, but his experience isn’t anything they teach us how to handle. And Steve won’t even admit to his own PTSD, so he’s going to be no help.”

Natasha frowns slightly. She’d never realized that Steve suffers from PTSD, but when Sam says it, it makes sense. “If I left you two to your own devices, you’d probably make him worse,” she replies. “I’m not going anywhere until he’s okay.”


	2. Chapter 2

Sam looks like he wants to protest when Natasha grabs his keys and and gets in the driver’s seat of his car, but he stays silent. She is the one that knows where they’re going and it’s easier for her to drive instead of giving directions. However, Steve does protest when she banishes him from the quinjet cockpit. “The last time you flew something, you took a nap for seventy years,” she reminds him. “Trusting you with my life does have its limits.” She teaches Sam how to fly the quinjet during their journey to Austria, that way he can fly them back if necessary.

She lands the quinjet in just outside the small town Bucky had been spotted in. “There’s an inn we can stay at where that turns a blind eye to everything as long as your money’s American, so you don’t have to leave the shield on the jet. Even if we find him right away, the people allowed in the cockpit are going to need to sleep before we go back.”

“The shield might be a little conspicuous before we get there,” Steve points out.

“Small town, not a lot of people,” Natasha retorts. “Though I wouldn’t recommend strapping it to your back like a bullseye for once. I really shouldn’t be surprised that camouflage wasn’t Howard’s strong point – it’s not Tony’s either.”

Steve gives Nat a dirty look for calling his shield a bullseye. “We weren’t exactly hiding who we were from Hydra. In retrospect, maybe not the wisest decision.”

The walk to the inn is silent, all three of them vigilantly scanning their surroundings for either Bucky or anyone else that might be looking for the man. Natasha almost gets two rooms, but instead requests a room with two beds. Not being separated, just in case, is more important than giving Steve and Sam any privacy.

“I’m a light sleeper, so no funny business,” she says with a smirk as she drops the bag of weapons onto one of the beds.

“Jesus Nat,” Steve mutters as he turns red, but Sam simply laughs.

Natasha pulls comms out of the the bag and gives one to each of them. “We’ve got a few hours today we can still look. We’ll cover more ground in town if we split up, so this way Sam and I can call you over if either of us find him before you do. You’re the safest option to approach him since not letting you drown probably means he has memories of you besides trying to kill you.” She then hands each of them a gun. “Just in case,” she adds. “And bring your bullseye with you. Bucky might remember it.”

“Not a bullseye,” Steve mutters, as they head back outside. The three of them split up, Natasha directing Steve towards the least populated part of town both to minimize the number of people that might pay enough attention to realize that Captain America has graced their town with his presence and also because if she were Bucky, that’s where she would be hiding out.

However, it turns out that Bucky is the one that finds her, his whispered “Natalia” hitting her like a punch in the gut.


	3. Chapter 3

Natasha doesn’t remember saying anything over the comms, but she must have because Steve seemingly turns out of nowhere, Sam shortly behind him.

“Bucky?” Steve asks tentatively.

“The shield’s still pretty conspicuous even without the suit, Steve,” he deadpans in reply.

“So you remember?” Steve asks.

“Not much,” Bucky admits. “Mostly fragments that don’t make sense. And we want to get the hell out of here. If you can find me, so can Hydra.”

“Our plane is just outside town,” Natasha says. “We just need to pick up the rest of our weapons first.”

“Please tell me you didn’t let Steve fly,” Bucky says. “I went to the Smithsonian before I left Washington.”

Steve groans. “I’m never going to live that down, am I?” 

“That you went on a suicide mission because you thought I was dead? I don’t think so,” Bucky responds.

“Wasn’t a suicide mission,” Steve mutters, as he and Bucky fall in step behind Sam and Natasha.

“Of course it wasn’t,” Bucky mutters back. “Just because I don’t remember much, doesn’t mean I’m stupid.”

Fortunately, they are able to retrieve the weapons and get back to the quinjet without incident. Now it’s just a question of where to go, since two transatlantic flights in one day is a bad idea, especially since Natasha is still rattled by Bucky knowing her real name.


	4. Chapter 4

Natasha flies them to an old KGB safe house outside Berlin that she had used for a few missions in the past. She signals for the rest of them to stay in the jet while she makes sure the house isn’t compromised, finding herself relieved when it appears that no one has been there in at least a decade. If it’s no longer an active safe house, it’s less likely that anyone will find them there.

“How did you find me?” Bucky asks once it’s been determined the house is free of both booby traps and listening devices.

“One of Natasha’s contacts gave her the intel,” Steve replies. “Do you remember…” he begins before Bucky cuts him off.

“I know who Natalia is,” he says. “I just don’t know why.”

“No one’s called me that since before Clint brought me in,” Natasha says hollowly. “Except for Zola’s freaky computer brain, but that doesn’t count.”

“Pierce was pissed that two of you cost him Zola,” Bucky replies. “That last memory wipe wore off after someone’s suicide complex broke through it,” he adds, glaring at Steve.

“I don’t have a suicide complex,” Steve exclaims.

“No of course not, you just tell everyone trying to kill you that you’re not going to fight them,” Bucky snarks.

“Oh for fuck’s sake Rogers, you’re a god damn idiot,” Natasha exclaims, stalking into the other room, surprised when Sam follows her.

“Not asking for details, but that was about more than just our friend the walking psychological nightmare wasn’t it?” he asks her.

“How much do you know about me?” she asks him.

“I didn’t read what you released on the internet if that’s what you’re asking,” Sam replies. “I do know all about the congressional hearings though. And based on what you said in my kitchen, it sounds like Bucky wasn’t the only one that had his memory fucked with.”

“I’m not sure if the Red Room actually messed around with my head, or if it’s my own mental block,” Natasha admits. “I’m still trying to unlearn a lot of what they drilled into me. If they could see me now, they’d be calling me a failure for letting my emotions get the better of me.”

“Jesus,” Sam mutters.

“I also have trust issues,” she adds, trying to make light of the situation.

“If you didn’t, I’d be concerned,” Sam replies. “Especially with Hydra rearing its ugly head again.”

“I trust you,” she blurts out. “Because Steve trusts you.”

“I trust you too,” Sam replies. “And not just because Steve does. Hell I probably trust you more than him right now.”

“Thanks,” she says with surprise. “It’s too quiet in there,” she adds. “We should probably go and check on them.”


	5. Chapter 5

Natasha wasn’t sure what she expected to see when she and Sam walked back into the room, but it wasn’t Bucky quietly sobbing and Steve awkwardly holding him. Howard he mouths when he sees them.

She freezes in place, silently repeating emotion is not a weakness to herself, though it’s not working as well as it usually does, she thinks because she’s also trying to figure out how Bucky would have known her as Natalia. She knows for sure she is off her game, when Sam placing a hand on her shoulder startles her. 

He raises an eyebrow, clearly surprised that he had caught her off guard, but thankfully doesn’t ask if she’s okay. “I’m guessing there probably isn’t any food around here that was purchased in this decade,” he says. “We’re probably going to be here at least a few days.”

“Even if there was, I wouldn’t trust it,” she replies. “And yes I know of places that will take American money in exchange for food.”

“Oh thank goodness,” Sam replies. “I’d offer to go without, but you’d probably blend in better by yourself. And those two really shouldn’t be left around right now.”

“Good luck with that,” she replies, grateful that Sam is giving her an opportunity for solitude, even if it will be brief. “I’ve still got my earpiece in, so I can warn you if things go sideways and you need to get the fuck out.”

Natasha takes a deep breath when she gets outside and then starts the walk to town. The safe house is about three miles away from civilization, which gives her plenty of time alone with her thoughts. It’s not unreasonable to think the Red Room and Hydra may have worked together to a degree, and she briefly entertains the idea that she may have become Bucky’s assignment after she defected. It’s an idea quickly discarded – if Bucky had been sent to kill her back then, she wouldn’t be alive to tell the tale. He’s shot her twice and both times were non-fatal, so that puts her back at square one. She knows better than to start poking around in the fragments of her childhood memories when she needs to be alert, so unless Bucky manages to remember, whatever past connection they have will remain a mystery for now.

She buys enough as much food as she is able to carry, which will probably only last a day if Bucky’s metabolism is anywhere near as ridiculous as Steve’s. If they have to buy this much food on a daily basis, it will start to look suspicious, so she’ll just have to drag Steve away from Bucky long enough to serve as her muscle if they end up staying after the food runs out.

Steve is sitting on the front porch when she returns. She’s about to remind him of the meaning of a safe house, when she sees that he’s quietly crying. She sits down next to him on the porch and tentatively wraps an arm around him. The action feels foreign to her, but she thinks – hopes – that it will help Steve. “Sam kick you out?” she asks, taking her earpiece out so Sam can’t hear her end of the conversation over the comms.

He shakes his head. “Bucky did. Said I was making him nervous to talk about what little he does remember.”

“Was he not the one that brought up Howard, then?” Natasha asks. When she’d said that they should tell Bucky about that possibility instead of waiting to see if the memory returns, she didn’t mean to do so this quickly.

“No, that was him, but not in the way that you think,” Steve replies. “He looked up everyone that was mentioned at the Smithsonian exhibit. Peggy’s the only one still with us, so he asked how the rest of them died.”

“I hate to be the one to bring it up, but are we sure that Howard is the only one that was killed by Hydra?” Natasha asks.

“Howard and Peggy are the only ones that would have been direct threats,” Steve replies. “And clearly they underestimated Peggy. If she’d known, she’d have wiped them out of SHIELD before her morning tea.”

“Given the stories I’ve heard, I believe it,” she replies. “And there’s a few assholes that should be glad she wasn’t around when Hill became Deputy Director. If she knew what they said, they wouldn’t be breathing right now.”

“Horribly sexist eye candy comments?” Steve asks.

Natasha nods. “Though at least one of them was Hydra, so maybe they were just afraid was would figure them out. And I’m surprised you know the term eye candy.”

“What do you think I’ve been doing with my free time? Watching the Wizard of Oz?” Steve asks.

“Given your highly specific example, I assume someone has enlightened you to Dark Side of the Moon,” she replies.

“Tony,” Steve confirms. “Along with pretty much every name people call marijuana. And no, I haven’t sullied my memory of the movie.”

Natasha can’t help but chuckle. “I’d be frightened if you had. Help me put the food away?”

Steve picks up the bags as they back into the safe house. “If we’re here long enough to need more food, I’ll go with you next time. People will notice if you beat up anyone trying to follow the lady that buys food more often than is normal.”

“Yeah, I could probably only explain that away once,” she responds. “Sam said we’re probably going to be here at least a few days. He happen to explain his reasoning on that to you?”

Steve shakes his head. “That’s more than I know.” He holds up a package of Russian tea cakes that looks out of place next to the fruits and vegetables it was bagged with. “I’m assuming these are for you.”

“You still like those?” comes a voice from the doorway of the kitchen. Steve and Natasha both turn that direction in surprise to see Bucky leaning against the door.

“Well shit,” Natasha mutters.

“Nat?” Steve asks.

“One of the only pleasant memories from my childhood was someone sneaking me those when no one else was looking,” she says softly. “I could just never remember who.”

“Well shit,” Steve repeats. The fact that Bucky remembered Natasha liking the cookies makes it pretty obvious who was sneaking them to her as a child.


	6. Chapter 6

They end up staying in the safe house for three very exhausting days. Sam was the only one not plague by nightmares, and also the only one that doesn’t react violently when suddenly awakened. They also slept – or attempted to sleep – in shifts, using making sure they hadn’t been compromised as the reason, but in reality, no one wanted to sleep alone and the house didn’t have a bed big enough to hold all four of them. Natasha has mixed feelings about the times she was the only one awake. On the one hand, she could process her emotions in private – her Red Room training about concealing them is too hard to suppress right now. But on the other hand, she also saw how natural it looked to have Steve and Sam curled protectively around Bucky. As much as she wishes there were, she doesn’t see how there can be a place for her as well.

She’s quiet when they fly back to New York, and even quieter on the on the ride back to Sam’s house in Washington. She’s planning how to make a strategic exit when Sam catches her off-guard for the second time in a week. “You know my bed is big enough for four,” he says.

“I, uh… I don’t think,” she stammers out, silently cursing herself for not having an answer ready.

“I’m going to tell you the same thing I told Bucky right after we got to that safe house, though I don’t expect you to believe me any more than he did,” Sam says. “I know that there’s some bad shit in the past, but you still deserve to be loved. Let us love you.”

“If you knew everything…” Natasha begins before Sam cuts her off.

“Doesn’t matter,” he says. “Would you have an assassin if you hadn’t been trained as one as a child?”

“What? No!” she exclaims. “Or at least I don’t think so. I don’t exactly remember anything about my parents.”

“You’re just as much a victim of your circumstances as Bucky is. Neither of you is responsible for the trail of blood you left behind you,” he says. “And no you don’t get to argue with me about that.”

“You’re impossible,” she mutters.

“I try,” Sam says with a smirk. “And Steve doesn’t believe that he deserves to be loved either, so I’m used to fighting an uphill battle.”

“Okay if Steve doesn’t think he deserves to be loved, the rest of the world is a lost cause,” Natasha replies. “He deserves to be loved more than anyone.”

“Well that’s not how the idiot sees it,” Sam responds. “Though if you stick around, maybe he’ll believe it eventually. Then he can help me gang up on you and Bucky. I expect the two of you to be equally impossible.”

“I suppose I can stick around for a few days,” Natasha concedes. “If only so I can find why you own a flat iron. You do still have it, don’t you,” she adds with a smirk.

“It’s really not as interesting as you think,” Sam says, shaking his head. “Now come to bed, I know you have to be at least as tired as me.

As Natasha lies curled up between Steve and Bucky, Sam reaching across Bucky to rest a hand on her hip, she starts to think that maybe there is a place for her. She’s still skeptical about the whole love thing, but she still can still take comfort where it’s offered.


End file.
